Throwing Shade by Karole Cozzo

Author:Karole Cozzo [Cozzo, Karole]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Karole Cozzo

Twelve

“Do you think there’s enough time for me to find a counselor?” she asks quietly.

Summer and I sit just beyond the shoreline, her shoulders wrapped in a towel and the heavy weight of defeat. The little metal wagon sits nearby.

“It’s, what? About a month away at this point?” I consider. “After finding someone, you could fit in three sessions… maybe?”

She just sighs.

“I’m sorry,” I say. “I really thought the visualization exercise might get us over the final hurdle.”

We’d sat in this spot a few moments earlier. I made her close her eyes, and took her through it, step by step, literally. A few steps into the surf, the water washing over her toes. A few more steps, the water now cresting over her calves. Deep breath, deep breath. Another step. All the way out, until she was floating on her back, staring up at the sky, focusing on the streaky clouds above her instead of the water below. Envisioning success the whole way. Picturing it, that moment she was able to flip over onto her stomach and allow muscle memory to propel her body through the water. She’d been calm and confident when we stood up, started moving forward hand-in-hand.

It fell apart where it’s fallen apart every time we’ve come out here, the water somewhere between her stomach and shoulders.

We’ve made progress, and I’d been hopeful. But… we’ve definitely plateaued. Our last two attempts out here, Summer hasn’t made it any further.

I glance to my left, at the vision board propped up in the wagon. I swear, Michael B. Jordan is starting to look disappointed.

“Summer?” I ask quietly. “There’s absolutely no shame in bowing out. This whole thing came about out of a big pile of bullshit; the whole challenge is bullshit. You don’t need to do this to yourself.”

Her head whips around. “Do you not even know me at all? I’m not bowing out. Number one, I specifically paid the hundred-dollar entry fee so I couldn’t back out. Number two, I’ve told people. The kids I teach. My dad.”

“Could you try going out with your dad?”

She shakes her head at the idea. “Nah.” She shudders. “He’s more of the ‘flooding’ mentality type.”

I’d mentioned it one time when she asked again what all our options were. Then she’d promptly crossed it off the list.

“And look at this…” Summer scoots away, over to her duffle bag, digging around until she finds her phone. She taps the Instagram icon and pulls up Jenna’s profile.

“You follow her?”

“No. I don’t follow her. But… she tagged me in her stories from yesterday. You know I never go on and would’ve never even seen the alert, but Leigh told me.”

Instagram being Leigh’s second home.

I squint down at the screen, the footage grainy. It’s the ocean, something moving out in the surf. “Is that a shark’s fin?”

This makes Summer giggle anyway. “No, goof. That’s her elbow. It’s her, swimming out in the water.”

The story abruptly switches to Jenna standing on the beach, dripping with water and satisfaction, goggles dangling from her index finger.

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